We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
