this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
