It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
