I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
