oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
its not stalking. its research.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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