So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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