I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
