I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
