Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
