I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
