would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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