so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
