I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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