i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
