Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
