If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
