Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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