dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
