Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
