dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
