sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
