she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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