I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
