When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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