but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
then he tried to convert me to islam
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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