I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
