Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
