You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
