guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im holly from the hills drunk
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
