Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
