If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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