How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
