So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
