dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
