you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
