Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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