it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
