She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
