I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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