we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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