There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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