singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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