Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
