is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Never let your siblings swipe right.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
