I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
