I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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