Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
