I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
