Duck Duck Cougar?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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