sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
How's work?
Spinning.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
