This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
