so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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