My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
