she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
