Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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