My nipple is on Facebook.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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