OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
