and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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