My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
These tits shall not be calmed
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
